You can’t forget people. You can forget their face, their voice, their laugh, their messy hair, their funny jokes, their inteligence, everything about them, except, you can’t.
And for some reason, I’m okay with that.
As of thursday:
I’ve dropped ten pounds.
I have A’s in all my classes.
Only two weeks left of school.
I found renewed interest in my hobbies.
I have new friends, a new study group.
I’ve reconnected with old friends.
I feel happy.
No matter what happened in the past, I will look at it as a learning experience. I hope others will too.
I think I am ready to move on, my head is now clear, no more distraction, it’s gone, but the few memories remain.
God damn it.
c:/Nathan-del-mem-2/15/12-4/6/12
Your hand.
a stroke.
Your forearm.
a caress
your arm.
your sholder.
a brush.
your neck.
a kiss.
your ear.
a nibble.
your hair.
your eyes.
a stare.
your lips. a stroke.
your tongue. a swirl.
your chin.
your left breast.
a bite.
your right.
a swirl.
your back.
the small of your back.
a long caress.
your ass.
a slap.
a giggle.
your slit.
a thrust.
a moan.
a whisper.
your back.
a grasp.
a thrust.
a gasp.
your lips.
a tongue.
a moan.
a thrust.
a moan.
a caress.
a flutter.
a thrust.
a gasp.
a thrust.
a moan.
a thrust.
a scream.
a kiss.
a flutter.
a thrust.
a moan.
a hurried shift.
a grunt.
a slap.
a thrust.
a moan.
a thrust.
a thrust.
a thrust.
a scream.
a thrust.
a scream.
a thrust.
a scream.
a scream.
a scream.
an explosion.
LOVE - Written by: Nathan 3:43am.
The problem I have with people is that they never have enough respect or time (or whatever) to actually say “hey I’m talking to you.” Instead it’s always un-adressed cryptic messages which force my brain into a two hour inner monologue discussing the moralistic ethics of automatically assuming someone is talking about or to you. This also occours when I walk through a mall.
I’m sitting here in my ship as the vessel inches toward it’s ever so distant destination. A cramped one man ship with simple amenities. So small in a universe so vast, it amazes me that I’m not sucked into the black everytime I look out the porthole. I feel so lonely out here, so alone, that pang in my stomache so fresh and new. Tis not a old feeling but something brand new. I used to be so acustomed to my loneliness, accepting it through and through. But now I just lay here, thinking of you. Your face, your smile, your snort, your laugh, all are things I wish I still knew. But I grow old now, slowly yes, but still. I forget your look, your smell, your taste, your touch. It has been thirty-three years and still I have that hunch. That maybe all I was missing was myself, my trueself. Because the way I acted that day was truely not my wholeself. Now I am wasting away, not on the outside, but the inside. No matter how much I dream, no matter how much I think, it never will seem, like I’m not on the brink. I fell asleep again, I do quite a bit, as there is nothing to begin, and nothing to hit. I don’t think I will ever see you again, but I will use my last watt of power to send you this note. - ***********
It’s so cold in space.
My triumpths My mistakes by: Nathan Skadsen
From age five I have always been an independent person in the many aspects of my daily life, and for the most part, it has made me a better adult. However, my biggest flaw, a flaw that I am trying to change, is that I have never been an open person, always kurt and dismissive. That is a flaw I am trying to change. I am never open with most people, never tell them my true thoughts. There are a rare few who with I am as honest and open as possible, but who I have never told the truth about just how much I truly care about them, especially in the middle of an argument during which I fail to comprehend why I care about them. In the end, everyone makes mistakes and everyone makes wise decisions, it’s taking the time every once in a while to rethink which of those it was and do something which matters
Have I made mistakes in my life, absolutely.
Have I done things I regret doing, absolutely.
Have I done things I wish I could do-over, absolutely.
Do I wish some people would admit their blame when I admit mine, absolutely.
Do I wish some people would comprehend the truth to why I did those things, absolutely.
Do I wish some people would just give others a second chance, absolutely.
Can I give someone a second chance if they want it, absolutely.
Can I feel unexplainable concern for someone I am angry at, absolutely.
Can I feel that feeling I get when I see that someone I am angry at, absolutely.
Will I accomplish all I want to accomplish………………………………I don’t know
